baby's reaction

one saturday.. i went for a movie with a friend in a nearby theatre... just for spending the evening lazily... physically and mentally. tickets were not a problem.. we got two of 'em easily. well.. we did not celebrate it that much... courtesy movie review in the newspaper, that morning. there was time left for the show to start. we moved around the multiplex stalls... indifferently, every shop owner must have predicted that we are not going to buy any damn thing. we smoked two sticks one after another.. to kill the time further... and we decided to enter the theatre at last. we got ourselves seated comfortably on nicely cusioned multiplex seats.. hoping some good looking girls would come around and sit beside us. the screen and the sound boxes were doing their job to exhibit several ad films and to insist on some directive principles. we knew the ordeal. next they will cast "jan gan man" and then the movie for which we had the tickets. yes. we stood up as the words on the screen prompted us to do so in the honour of our national anthem. well.. it started. but this version was new to me. Asha Bhosle and Lata Mangeshkar sang it on Rehman's composition. the video showed closeups of the singers and the india flag. it ended and i felt tears rolling down my cheeks. this was no first time that i listened to "jan gan man". so i felt further more than the tears. once i saw a baby getting hurt on his knees. everybody... his parents, relatives.. close ones... came running towards him.. spelling out different words, some cursing the woodden block that hurt him, some sympathizing him... some providing courage to deal with the wound... but words only. the baby looked listlessly towards everyone's face. few minutes later, he broke down into tears... i realized i was hurt by the attack on taj mumbai on wednesday, 26th. i reacted 3 days later. the baby took minutes. i took days.

and i passed..

there are few questions.. that arise somewhere inside me. questions that can be answered only by me. its a self test kind of thing. but assessing the answers... is always more difficult than the test.
an urge comes out to ask the same questions to different people under same circumstances and reconcile their answers with those of mine. but that sounds stupid. assuming is wiser... rather, easier than clarifying.. and i pass myself in the test.

devastated...

i want to say that i love you.... but 'm devastated. 'm not able to decide whether to run up to the terrace and shout it out... or to whisper 'em in your ears..

papers under lamp

from dawn to dusk, the movement of sun have been so historic to everybody's life at any given point of time, that none of us can remember the date when he or she watched the sun to rise or to set for the first time.
but the human mind can easily become nostalgic about the romance of first train journey and the first kiss and in some cases, it tends to remember the whole series sequentially :)
seems that memory gets functional depending upon our expectations.
we tend to remember things that we expect less or crave for, to happen.
trip to delhi was one such thing that i wanted to memorize for several reasons... personal and professional.
and it was the return flight that came up with the personal ones....
after vijay malya's welcome speech, i tuned to ten sports. one of ganguly's innings was air casted in a program called legends.
beams of sunlight continued to change directions on my lap... courtesy window seat :)
they all disappeared suddenly to catch my attention. i looked out of the window...there were clouds under the sun.... like papers under lamp.

partying / parting

she called me at 10 in the morning.
we tried to share about the day's proceedings... at both ends.
time didn't wait.
we cudn't continue... although none of us wanted to hang up.
i called her at lunch..she was with her team.. having lunch.
call was long enough to gather the above information.
and infact it was longer than i thought it wud be ...promised her i would not smoke after the terrible meal i was bound to enjoy...only to break it just when it was supposed to be protected.
she called me at 5 in the evening.
job is job.
again at 8.
it was work again.
unanswered messages started to hit my cell.... as she knew calls wud disturb me and messages wud make me feel how much she was missing me.
at 10, when my cell rang... i knew and felt this was not fair and promised her a call within 20 mins.
and within 2 mins my work was done.
i was just reaching out for my cell.... a group of boys came.. rushing at me... my friends they were.
they took me to sports bar... as if i had no other choice to opt for... as if it was a law to booze that night.
my cell rang again... she got answered by the music that was going on... by the noise that the people in the bar were making, much earlier and much more convincingly than my voice ever could have.
we got out of the bar later... after partying hard that night.

still to die

i woke up in the morning and found that 'm the only person alive on earth. and the deads are all around me. they are laughing out loud at me. i heard 'em saying "look at that jerk!! he doesn't even know how to die!!"

laal

jitni gehri zakhm...
utnahi khoon niklega,
utnahi laal hoga rang..... tere daamanka !!

prima facie

ichhamoti - a small river in west bengal. i always thought it is not just a name. it has a meaning. may be 'm wrong. but in case 'm not, the meaning is - wishes of imagination. and its a river. and it flows. and its my name for blogging. cheers !!
A few declarations:
[1] My blogs will be small.
[2] My blogs will be written in Bengali, Hindi or English or may be blends of combinations of these three, taking two or all at a time.
[3] My blogs will contain grammatical and spelling mistakes.
[4] This is my last declaration of my first blog.

~tirtha